Redefining the ‘Childless Cat Lady’: How Women Like Nancy Bocskor Lead the Way
Nancy Bocskor was recently quoted in an article by the HuffPost on Aug. 3, 2024 by Jennifer Bendery.
“I’m a childless cat lady in Dayton, Ohio,” said 66-year-old Nancy Bocskor, who previously worked for Republican Newt Gingrich, the former House speaker from Georgia, in Washington, D.C.”
“Vance’s comments ripped the bandage off of a lifetime of people questioning me: ‘Why aren’t you married?’ I finally thought, at age 66, I was healed from the snide comments (’No husband? No kids? You must be gay!) or the implied pity (Wow, you must be defective, ugly and unlovable!),” she said. “Every inappropriate comment flooded back.” Bocskor said she’s led a full life that has included a decades-long career in Republican politics, teaching young people how to run for office and enter public service. Because of her line of work, she said she also sees through the message that Vance is trying to send.
“I used to create messaging for Republican elected officials and candidates. Politics is emotion, and emotion moves voters, not issues. Fear and anger are at the top of the list,” she said of GOP politicking, before then addressing her remarks to Vance. “This ‘bitter, childless cat’ narrative that you’ve created (and have doubled down on rather than apologizing) is a ruse. It’s shiny and bright and catches the attention of the media and voters.”
The HuffPost article highlights a backlash against J.D. Vance, an Ohio senator and Donald Trump’s vice-presidential pick, after he made remarks targeting childless women. Vance’s comments criticized Vice President Kamala Harris as part of the “childless cat ladies,” suggesting they were “miserable” and lacked a “direct stake” in America’s future due to not having children. This sparked outrage among women and men alike across a wide spectrum of ages, backgrounds, and political affiliations.
Nancy Bocskor, a seasoned political strategist who previously worked for former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, is among those who voiced discontent. Bocskor, a childless woman in her 60s, has devoted her career to Republican politics and to teaching young people how to enter public service. She found Vance’s remarks reminiscent of the judgment and stereotypes faced throughout her life for not having children. Bocskor criticized Vance’s rhetoric, indicating that it revives inappropriate comments she’s faced over her choice and challenges the value of childless women’s contributions. She also called out Vance’s messaging as a divisive political tactic designed to stir emotions like fear and anger.
Vance’s words struck a nerve because they perpetuate the notion that a woman’s worth is tied to motherhood. Many women, including those who are childless by choice, stepparents, adoptive parents, or those who have struggled with infertility, have pushed back. They argue that Vance’s stance not only oversimplifies women’s lives but also overlooks their varied and meaningful contributions to society, regardless of their parental status. For example, Margie Wirth from New York expressed offense at the suggestion that a woman’s value is tied to her ability or decision to have children. Similarly, Heather from Texas, who chose to have an abortion due to her mental health struggles, criticized Vance’s lack of empathy for women who may not be capable of raising children.
Notably, the childless demographic in America is significant. Research from Scientific Reports in 2022 estimated that more than 20% of American adults are without children. Meanwhile, census data from 2021 shows millions of stepchildren, adopted children, and foster children living in U.S. households. Additionally, approximately 2.4 million women were identified as infertile between 2015 and 2019 by the CDC. Despite these figures, Vance suggested that people without children do not have a stake in the country’s future, a claim that has angered many childless individuals who are passionate about political and social issues, like climate change, democracy, and community welfare.
The article also shares reactions from diverse voices, such as Annie Butkus, a public relations professional, who emphasized that childless individuals are invested in preserving democracy for future generations. Many others echoed similar sentiments, highlighting their deep involvement in politics, community service, and family life. Additionally, childless women have spoken out about how their lives are enriched by other meaningful relationships, such as those with pets, stepparents, and extended family, rather than their lack of biological children.
Vance’s stance has also been controversial among Republicans. Some GOP members found his views alienating to a potentially large demographic of voters. Furthermore, Vance’s opinions on abortion, family structures, and marital dynamics appear to align with his recent controversial statements. For example, he has advocated for making abortion illegal nationally and promoted the idea that couples should remain in “violent” marriages for the sake of their children. His framing of childlessness as a fault or failure has led to a surge of support for Harris and a pushback from those who see themselves as targets of Vance’s remarks.
The article provides personal accounts of individuals who found Vance’s comments dismissive and offensive. It includes perspectives from women without children who are politically active, adoptive parents who felt their families were devalued, and stepparents who play significant roles in their children’s lives. Additionally, some people shared experiences of judgment and scrutiny over their choices to remain childfree, highlighting the societal pressure to conform to traditional family structures.
In response to Vance’s comments, various initiatives have emerged to rally support for Vice President Harris and to counter the narrative Vance has tried to establish. These include grassroots movements, merchandise like “Cats for Kamala” shirts, and social media campaigns showcasing the solidarity of childless individuals. One event, “Cat Ladies for Kamala Harris,” drew thousands of participants on a Zoom call, demonstrating the mobilization of those united against Vance’s viewpoint.
Ultimately, the article underscores that Vance’s attempt to dismiss the influence and significance of childless individuals backfired, bringing together a diverse group of people who share a stake in the country’s future, irrespective of their parental status. This pushback has emphasized the broad scope of women’s contributions to society beyond motherhood and their right to be recognized and valued in political discourse. Nancy Bocskor stands as a credible voice among those challenging these narratives, using her career in politics and public service to highlight the complexities and value of women’s choices and roles beyond traditional family expectations.